When I write to you I listen to music a lot of the time. We’ve had the love of music in common so it’s a point of connection. It’s also an enhancer. Certain songs bring memories to the surface and sometimes they help me escape further into the memories. I’ll tell you which songs sometime.
I’ve told you this before but maybe not exactly this way. The song I’m listening to right now helped make this more clear to me.
When I reminisce sometimes I think about you and sometimes I feel about you. When I think the memories come about all the fun and sexy things we did. I think about when we could walk and hold hands. The weather, sights, sounds, and our conversations are what I think about.
When I feel about you specific events are less important than what I was feeling at the time. I can slip into how it feels to have your head on my chest. When I would see you in the morning, coy and eyes down making me want to kiss you. Soft light on your body; this one is so powerful as you lay there naked, beautiful and vulnerable. You holding me at the cemetery as I am overcome. Waking up and you being what I see first.
When I think about you I smile and laugh.
When I feel about you I cry.
Both are good and wonderful and help me know that I am alive.