Icallyouluv has been like being on a mountain top. It is an amazing place with incredible views but the air is so thin. Too thin to stay for long. This has been an exciting and amazing experience. I can share the most private things between us with the world and have no shame about “us”. There is something for you to read when you need me but I can’t be with you. I have been able to explore some of my deepest feelings until they leaked out. There is even the school girl like fantasy I have that we talked about :). This has been exciting but also draining.
This is the 87th post and I still have so many stories to tell and thoughts to share. I don’t think that I can finish by the 100th entry. What do I do?
I never want you to feel neglected. You are too special to be ignored or taken for granted. I don’t want our blog to just fade out. It would break my heart for you to check here day after day and not find another note. I couldn’t bear the possibility of you thinking that a lack of messages indicated that you became less special to me.
This is what I have told myself. I never intended this to be a documentary of “us”. It is our story for sure, and it includes what is important, but in the same way that you knew what was important about me.
I wrote the summary of everything in this blog and the one thing that you must never forget. I wrote about Fading, which is the entry that makes me the saddest of all. I wrote about all the sex and games, which are not really about sex. They are about how I try to make you feel as special as you are to me.
Fifty years from now you will be able to read these words and all the feelings and emotions will be as strong as they are now. That is why I wrote this.
Luv, here is the important part. Here is why I included this when I only have a few more entries left to make. The things that I do for you are intentional acts to show you how special you are. I wish that I could talk to you more and touch you more but each of us has the life that we have chosen. Know that when this blog stops I will do something else to express how special you are and I won’t stop until you believe it as much as I do.