Today I chose to be happy.
It was a few difficult days for me. Last night I went to the grocery store and didn’t need much so I paid cash. My cashier was an older lady, maybe 60 or 65. She gave me my change and her hand brushed mine then she said, “here you go, love.” I almost broke down right there.
After this post there are four left. They are called Fantasies, My prayers for you, Hope and Love. I have spent so many hours with icallyouluv over these past few months that it has become like a friend. It has a life of it’s own now and I will miss it.
There was a time when I thought about the people that would stumble across our blog and I was almost giddy that I could show you off or make them envy the things I do to you or how I feel for you. It was part of the game I set up for us to play.
Now I want to cherish every word and make each of them count. It is like saying goodbye at the airport. You have to walk away, your time is limited but you have so many things to say or maybe nothing to say but you want to just embrace and never let it end.
Icallyouluv has been a wonderful journey and has offered me a roller coaster of feelings as I wrote it. This has become one of my favorite memories. It was the secret place that I could go and be with you whenever I wanted. I hope that it has been the same for you.
Today I am choosing to be happy. I am stepping away from the sadness of the past few days. I am stepping out of the shadow that was over me and into the light.
This is the sun that I am stepping into:
Remembering the walk around the lake with you holding your hand.
Our lock that you can see so often now.
Asses that you message to me to check my gayness.
Scoring lower than you on the sex test.
Dressing room selfies
The fact that even your pet adores me
The connection that I feel just by closing my eyes